editor at The Washington Post and as Assistant to the Publisher of Newsweek magazine), most politicians do not deserve the low esteem in which the public regards them.

Mr. Wright, however, does.

As we all know, Mr. Wright coasted into office on the coattails (I call them “Kurt-Tails”) of our then-popular Leader of Government Business. Since then, this elected member has frittered away his time (and our money) on such burning issues as the burning of the Caymanian flag and the singing of the national song. In my nearly two decades in Grand Cayman, I am unaware of even one instance of the desecration of the Caymanian flag or any other national symbol (although I have been exposed to at least one rendition of “Dear Verdant Isle . . .” that was so off-key that I might join Mr. Wright in criminalizing the act

 and sending the vocalist off to the Northward Prison Choir).

I am reminded of a cartoon that depicted a gardener erecting a six-inch tall fence around his garden. His neighbor inquired about the purpose of the fence, and he responded, “Why it’s to keep out the elephants.”

“But we don’t have any elephants here,” the neighbor replied.

“Exactly,” said the gardener. “The fence is working.”

That’s the sort of silly syllogism, in the form of legislation, that Mr. Wright introduced on the Cayman flag and the national song. His legislation is a “solution” in search of a problem.

Now, let’s get down to specifics. In the current issue of Grand Cayman Magazine, which I own, publish and edit, I wrote an Editor’s Message entitled “The Need for Speed: Soon Come Must Go . . .”

In the column, I lament (with humor, not rancor) how long it takes to get even the simplest things done in Grand Cayman—from renewing a driver’s license to picking up a package from customs to getting planning approval to put a porch on your home. The burgeoning bureaucracy—with its endless lines and endless forms—is detracting from our quality of life and inhibiting our economy. While a link to my Editor’s Message in its entirety is available on our website (www.grandcaymanmagazine.com), I will share with you its conclusion:

“The next time you hear about government’s forming yet another ‘study group,’ committee, commission or whatever else they might collectively conjure up to avoid doing what we elected them to do—lead—remember the following story:“H. Ross Perot, the Dallas billionaire businessman, was explaining why big governments almost never get anything done on budget and on time. Living in Texas, he used the metaphor of a rattlesnake:

“When government encounters a rattlesnake and must decide what to do with it, he said (in approximately these words), ‘They wring their hands, form committees, consult herpetologists, check with the environmental lobby, conduct a few focus groups, prepare a report, draft some legislation, and eventually pass something that might be called the ‘Rattlesnake Population Modulation Act.’

“And what does H. Ross Perot do when he comes across a rattlesnake?

“ ‘It’s simple,’ he said. ‘I kill it.’ ”

To illustrate my Editor’s Message, I presented a redesigned “Cayman Crest” that included the words “Magna Cum Celeritate,” which in Latin means “With Great Speed.” The crest itself was handsome with a spectacular rising sun, flowing stripes, and elegant stars. Some readers have even called it beautiful.

Mr. Wright, however, would have you believe that somehow, by presenting this crest, I was being “disrespectful” of Cayman culture and the Caymanian people. Nothing could be further from the truth—and Mr. Wright knows it. If he were given “truth serum” (imagine that test for politicians!), he would admit as much to you.

Mr. Wright has implied that altering the Cayman Crest—even in good taste and (let’s be honest) in good fun—is off-limits. In other words, the Cayman Crest is sacrosanct—not to be touched or trifled with.

Oh?

Remarkably, in the same Legislative Assembly session in which Mr. Wright castigated me for daring to alter—even in jest—the Cayman Coat of Arms, one elected member stood up to propose a redesign of the Cayman Crest, suggesting (according to a direct quotation in the Caymanian Compass) “that a new symbol representing education be placed in the country’s coat of arms.”

Any guesses as to who that elected member might be? I’ll tell you: Mr. Alfonso Wright! Apparently Mr. Wright and I are in agreement on whether the Cayman Crest can, or should, be updated. Our dispute is only about whose graphic design might be better.

Also, Mr. Wright might be interested in knowing that when guests gather to put their collective “meat on the seat” at our good Governor’s dining table, they are sitting on a beautiful rendition of the Cayman Crest. Talk about a cover-up! Henceforth, will Mr. Wright call the cops?

Let’s be truthful: Mr. Wright’s House-floor tirade was designed for political purposes to fuel further the division between “Caymanians” and their expatriate neighbors—an oft-repeated nationalistic theme of the Progressive Party Movement (PPM). Consider this: If a native-born Caymanian (meaning a potential “voter”) or PPM member had authored my column, does anyone believe Mr. Wright would have made such inflammatory remarks on the House floor? (I don’t think we even need a swig of “truth serum” to answer that one!)

A local website has been abuzz with comment on this so-called story. The scorecard as of today: Those writing to support my position: 30. Those in favor of Mr. Wright’s position (and a local columnist who mirrored his views): zero. While it’s possible that all of the Ching-Chings might be flying in the wrong direction, in this instance I think they know exactly where they’re going—and exactly where Mr. Wright is coming from.

Following Mr. Wright’s remarks, I called to assure him that I had no intention of being disrespectful to anyone in the Cayman Islands, and I was astonished that he had portrayed me as otherwise. I was—and I think Mr. Wright would confirm this—polite and gentlemanly in our conversation.

I would describe his response, however, as rude and hostile—unfitting of an elected public servant.

A few days later at the ribbon-cutting festivities for the opening of the new Cayman “Freedom of Information Office” (what irony!), I approached Mr. Wright and introduced myself (I don’t believe we had ever met). Again, he responded with hostility, replying angrily, “I know who you are!” As the conversation continued, he became more and more agitated and told me never to speak to him again. Since I had never spoken to him before in my long life, I didn’t consider that to be a particularly harsh sanction.

My wife Vicki and I have lived for nearly 20 happy years in the Cayman Islands. Although we are American citizens, we are also “officially Caymanian,” having been granted status several years ago. We have invested many millions of dollars in these islands and have never backed away from making contributions—financial or otherwise—to help Cayman become an even better place.

Not coincidentally, we own and produce by far the most beautiful magazine ever published here—and one of the most beautiful magazines in the world. Each issue shows off these glorious islands to their best advantage. Many institutions, including departments of the Cayman Islands Government, distribute our publication overseas and at conferences because of its quality and the fact that it is such a beautiful representation of Grand Cayman and the Sister Islands.

As virtually every member of the PPM and the UDP will attest, I personally attend more Assembly meetings, public events, and political gatherings (including the obscure ones in the outer districts) than any other Caymanian citizen (with the possible exception of Billy Adam)! Why? Because I’m interested, involved, informed, and because I love this country.

In closing, let me share my personal hope that the good people of these islands—Cayman-born, foreign-born, present and future generations—unite in a spirit of harmony, goodwill, and compassion—the qualities of Angels—and that we collectively reject shrill, angry, venomous voices of those such as Mr. Wright’s who—for partisan political purposes—wish to divide us.

Shame on you, Mr. Wright. Shame on you.